Count Binface versus Trout Dimface! Clacton flips a coin!
Will Clacton do the funniest thing of all time next week!? Well no of course they won't! This is England, why would you un-elect a frog with five mill?!
(ABOVE: BINFACE! BINFACE! BINFACE!)
So just to be clear: Seventy odd per cent of people would rather vote for a bloke who has taken a five million pound undeclared donation, chiefly along with the Leprechaun of Luton (Side bar: Why is he inviting men into toilets now, in front of their wives? Too much time on Right Wing Grindr methinks) started two lots of riots, used a dead teen as an election boost, has spent less time in Clacton than I have in Greggs on Albion Street in Leeds, and has to boot initiated a farce electoral campaign against a bin-because the bin is part of an establishment coup to stop working class ex city trader Nige, from representing his working class brethren. I usually go full sarcastic on these matters, and yet the fact that the above is all true is indicative of the fact that this country is full of complete and utter nut bags! And heck I should know you should see the amount who are currently in charge of the NHS (Good lord!
(ABOVE: Lego Hannah Spencer and the Greens, Eva Braun Badenoch and Bomb Dem Burnham will not be contesting the fight of the century!)
This fourth wall breaking is getting worse I swear!) Indeed the nuttiest of the nut bags seem to be scared of immigration (Down to its lowest level since that lad invented the wheel), and wish for Nigel to be swept back into power to stop the invasion of Clacton……and just whom will be invading Clacton, and what sea faring route will they be taking to overthrow this sprawling metropolis, more famous than New York, Paris and Berlin combined? As much as I would love Space Warrior Count Binface to win, and to be clear he won’t, the fact that the world’s media is in hysterics, reporting this to a grinning, worldwide audience, is indicative of what the British public, NOT politicians, have reduced the United Kingdom to.
(ABOVE: Ah that explains a lot, no wonder he was angry with Eastern Europeans for stealing his mistresses on posh sex night).
In ten years:
We have been furnished with Brexit (Which more importantly is now stopping Liverpool football club from playing defenders. Fairly sure that wasn’t in the leaflet!)
Several sets of chav riots, practically now on a weekly basis - including one somewhere called Thetford, in Norfolk this week, apparently an unsuspecting visitor asked where are the “Black bin liners” in the local B&Q, bugger me all hell broke loose!
Supporting a sixty odd year old man child who was confused about a cake trying to have sex with him in a Downing Street garden during lock-down.
Targeted attacks on women’s refuge centers, because you know women suffering domestic abuse from their partners are the undoubted scourge of our times.
A fortnight long battle royale involving riots and trying to burn people to death in hotels, Chaving.com? Chaving dot YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!
A two foot leprechaun from Luton who now thinks he’s Jesus Christ for some reason, after him and his mates started to rap hymns and carry around ill fitting plywood planks around - well I can’t wait for Midnight Mass at Crimbo this year!
Justification of a tit who encouraged rioting on Twatter because freedom of speech (Despite the guilty plea, but you know details, evidence, far too much hysteria), legend has it said tit has finally learnt the names of her children.
(ABOVE: The above video contains the booing of Farridge, Reform voter, and one extremely strange women who tried to perform a dance whilst going in - to be fair she could’ve been a swan).
Falsely believing that Elon Musk of said Twatter fame is both the Kind and Prime Minister of Great Britain, whereas the sad reality is that Elon Musk is not even fit to be described as an afterbirth fresh from a microwave.
COVID deniers forcing extra lock-downs on the rest of Great Britain because they were just not clever enough to work out how one stays indoors! You see that silver thing in your hand, you see that small hole in the door. Okay pretend its late night chav sex time over the bins round the back of the Horse and Thistle….yeah there you go, door shuts, well done you!
Backing a party run by Russian crypto criminals financing a bloke with as much integrity as a married lad in a brothel on fifty per cent night off on a Tuesday night in Downing Street.
(ABOVE: V for Vendetta, great film, even better graphic novel from the great Alan Moore. It used to be a fable twenty years ago - when did we allow it to become a documentary?)
But this to quote Aldo Raine in Inglorious Bastards “May just be the UKs masterpiece!” It is staggering to me that anyone could possibly read any of the above examples and come to the conclusion that, YES, of course Liz Truss was forced to crash the UK economy because she was brainwashed into doing so by the deep state and severe LDHD (Lettuce Desire Hyperactivity Disorder) But the fact of the matter is that this keeps random, utterly ridiculous and quite absurd nonsense continues to keep happening over, and over and over because of the utter bizarro world views of the aforementioned nut bags, now given voices by Richard heads like Elon Musk,VD News, the Daily Fighting Age Male and the influence of the Trump cultists dicking on about woke spaceship raids in Utah. Rather than focus on homelessness, child poverty, suicide rates, domestic abuse, the rights and needs of disabled people, gun control, crime, the continuing war in Ukraine, worsening LGBTQ rights and assault and cancer research, we instead have to concentrate on imaginary woke daydream delusions, “Are Wimmin and Girlz” wife beaters crying because Argentina knocked England out, small boats that somehow emerge is landlocked places like the middle of Lancashire (Damn you Doctor Strange, I told you to shut the portals!), people having sex with lamposts whilst straddling the Union Jack, and any level of dumb shite that Suella Braverman says after a bottle of Prosecco in the bar in Westminster. But hey there’s nothing we can do it about it, stupidity has always come easy to the UK, and it always will sadly. So on August 13th you enjoy it Clacton, the wild celebrations, fireworks and street parties when a bloke who would have to consult his golden plated Filofax before deciding to piss on you should you be on fire, takes on a bloke dressed as a public trash receptacle.
The people versus the establishment? My arse!
(ABOVE: CHEAP PLUG KLAXON! A tenuous link admittedly, but for more protests against utter bell ends, remember AEW fam in London, Wembley, get ready to chant “FUCK ICE” during the broadcast! Again that is “FUCK ICE” just in case! https://www.reddit.com/r/AEWWEMBLEYFUCKICE) on ye olde Reddit, or follow this writer, Youtuber, Vinted impresario, Business owner, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist on the link below! Please note the previous paragraph is not based in reality, factual or true!)